Aspen Reporter's Mysterious Chinese Jersey Finally Arrives at Post Office

Aspen —The envelope sat in the P.O. Box at the Aspen Post Office, battered and marked with a mysterious Chinese address. It was a Thursday morning, raining, and the question hanging over the valley was simple: Was that a real Jarrett Stidham jersey?

Aspen Times reporter Lorenzo Semple wrote that he’d bet a hundred bucks he was the only one in town with one. He admitted he didn’t even know who Stidham was until last year, when Bo Nix broke his ankle in overtime against Buffalo. That was Stidham’s moment. So, Semple did what any loyal fan would do: he dove headfirst into cyberspace. He wanted to feel like "the man," prancing around town wearing the jersey of the guy who led the Broncos to the Promised Land.

He started at the official NFL online store. The price was unreasonable. So, he clicked the first ad offering one for less than half the goin’ rate. That’s code for China-direct, pirated merchandise that arrives via DHL three weeks later — if you’re lucky. He compared it to the cool, one-of-a-kind bootleg stuff you get from beach vendors in Mexico.

Needless to say, the jersey never arrived. It added insult to the injury of losing the AFC championship game in Denver. Semple recalled the horror of watching Stidham fade back, and back, and back some more. The game was lost on a fourth-and-one deep in the red zone, with a monster snowstorm headed straight for Mile High. It wasn’t Jarrett’s fault. They tried to get cute, and the hand of fate slapped them across the face.

After that, he swore under his breath he’d never watch football again. In retrospect, the two weeks leading up to the Super Bowl were surprisingly relaxing. His blood pressure, cholesterol, and heart rate stabilized. He finally had his life back. The highs had been stratospheric; the lows, subterranean.

Then, on Super Bowl Sunday, he swung by the Post Office. To his surprise, the tyvek envelope had magically appeared. He’d long ago written it off as a loss. He ripped the package open and decided to proudly don his knock-off jersey. He’d sit in the corner by himself, away from the crowded bars full of Seahawks fans.

The prized Jarrett Stidham bootleg jersey now hangs solemnly in the rain on a Thursday morning in Aspen. It’s not authentic. It’s not even from the NFL. But it’s there. And for now, that’s enough.