Why Unmarried Adults Need a Power of Attorney

The wind off the Vail Valley carries a specific kind of chill, one that settles into the bones of anyone waiting for a bus on 13th Street or standing in line at the grocery store. It’s that quiet, crisp air that reminds you how far you are from Chicago, or Milwaukee, or anywhere else your parents might be watching the news.

Recently, a reader wrote to me about a problem that feels less like an abstract legal concept and more like a trap waiting to spring. His daughter, then 25 and unmarried, suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm while working in television news in Wisconsin. The result was a massive hemorrhagic stroke. They were from Illinois, which they believed had safeguards for families in emergencies. But when the crisis hit, they found themselves on the outside looking in.

The doctor told them her pupils were fixed and dilated — a grave situation that typically indicates brain death. The surgeon decided to try again, saving her life, but the legal aftermath was nettlesome. According to hospital officials, the family had no legal right to direct her care. As a woman with no spouse, she was essentially a ward of the state.

This isn't just about hospital beds. The family had no authority to shut off her utilities when she couldn’t live independently during her extended convalescence. They were stuck paying for a home that was effectively empty, unable to make the simple call to turn off the lights.

What the reader shared, having just read my recent series about children entering adulthood, is that turning 18 isn't the end-all and be-all for legal protection. It’s not just about voting or drinking. It’s about who holds the pen when things go wrong.

That brings us to powers of attorney, or POAs. A power of attorney is a legal document that gives one person — called the agent or attorney-in-fact, the authority to act on behalf of another, called the principal. The authority can be broad or narrow, depending on what the principal wants. An agent might manage bank accounts, buy property, sign contracts, or make healthcare decisions if the principal becomes incapacitated.

Common types include general powers of attorney for broad financial and legal matters, limited or special powers for specific tasks, durable powers that remain effective even if you become incapacitated, and medical powers of attorney for healthcare decisions.

Although the term “attorney” might suggest the agent must be a licensed lawyer, that isn’t so. Any competent adult can serve as an agent if appointed by the principal.

The part everyone skips past is the assumption that marriage provides a safety net. It doesn’t always. Without a POA, unmarried adults like the reader’s daughter can find themselves in limbo, their families powerless to manage even basic aspects of their lives. This matters because so many young people are moving out, starting careers, and living independently before they tie the knot. They need to know who is holding their hand - and their paperwork; when the unexpected happens.

Feinsinger wrote in the Vail Daily that this story highlights a gap in how we treat young adulthood. It’s not just about estate planning for the wealthy or the elderly. It’s about practical, everyday security for the rest of us.

Stand there long enough and you can see it in the faces of people at the post office or the hardware store. They’re managing their own lives, but who manages theirs if they can’t?

The sun dips behind the Gore Range, casting long shadows over the valley. The lights in the homes along the highway stay on, paid for by families who refused to let their loved ones become wards of the state.